January 26th, 2026
The BDGF and I were wandering around Toronto over Thanksgiving and happened upon a very swanky cocktail bar in the ritzy part of town. As we had an hour to kill and it was happy hour, we stopped in for some greet deals on some expensive drinks. The place was pretty empty so the bartender eventually came over to talk to us and pretty quickly asked me what project I was working on in town. I said I'm just here on vacation and she said "oh. I assumed you were working on one of the movies shooting in Toronto."
Of course, I was flattered. Whether it was meant as flattery or not. The BDGF and I were probably talking about movies, I was probably being loud, and we were probably in the part of town were movie types stay when working in Toronto. Fairly explicable. I've been called professor too many times to count so that's my vibe I guess. I like to dress up so I guess movie big shot isn't too far of a stretch. The BDGF was immediately worried that the comment would inflate my head to the point where I'd have to leave through the loading dock.
Cut to last Thursday when we had slipped into a local watering hole for drink. We were talking movies (again) and after a couple of libations decided to head home. We had put our coats on and headed out the door when someone raced out of the restaurant (unbeknownst to me) and asked the BDGF who I was. She got my attention and the gentleman asked me if I was the guy in the white jacket. I said yes. He asked me if I was a movie director. I laughed and said no, I'm just a local doofus. I saw the BDGF's concerns for the size of my head return.
And I know I'm just a local, pompous doofus who likes to wear expensive looking jackets. But as a vibe check do I love it? You're goddamn right I do. I may not have accomplished a helluva lot in my life, but every once in a while some stranger thinks that maybe I have, which I will take as a consolation prize.
Speaking of the silver screen, it's Oscar season, so here's your annual checklist if you want to watch every movie nominated this year, like some pretentious assholes do. Courtesy of thegoldknight.com. I have about 8 movies left to watch. See you in March.
Posted 12:54pm
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January 14th, 2026
Old man take a look at my life...
I've been saying I'm old for a decade now. Last September, it became official.
When you're in your forties, people in their thirties will tell you you're not old. They see their future and don't want it to be true. People in their fifties will tell you you're not old. Usually responding with something akin to "Just wait."
But tell people you're fifty? Everyone agrees that yes, you are old now. People in their twenties think everyone is old, because to them everyone is. That is the privilege of youth. People in their seventies think everyone even a year younger then them is a baby. Septuagenarians are allowed to say anything they want, because they've earned it. We should really just leave people that age alone. Unless they're being racist or misogynistic, let them have their fictions. "Things were better when I was a kid. That's when Detroit knew how to build an automobile!" OK gramps. We don't need to have a discussion about global warming or the scourge of car culture. Enjoy the time you have left.
I'm old enough to remember when luggage didn't have wheels. A technology that has existed for millennia! Everyone still used the luggage they got as wedding presents in the fifties. It usually weighed more than its contents. Hell when I graduated high school I received luggage that only had two wheels. Yes it technically rolled, but you still had to drag it around like a medieval serf. A modern Sisyphus if you will.
I of course predate VCRs, cellphones and the internet. I remember when kids were told to leave the house on Saturday mornings and to not come back until suppertime. You could smoke everywhere and casual homophobia and misogyny were societal norms. It was mostly the worst of times.
As an old man who sees such rampant change in my lifetime, I don't really get the idea of the "good ol' days." Yes I have a fondness and nostalgia for my youth and there are many many things I loved and am thankful for. But things have changed so much, and in so many ways are so much better for so many people, that where does the fear of change come from?
I think its mostly a combination of a fear of irrelevancy and that dear old nostalgia. Nostalgia is the most toxic of impulses. Things are never the way you remember them. And if you're a middle age white guy like me, it seems impossible to not understand how much of the fondness you have for the past is based on privilege. Somewhere on the internet recently I saw someone say "It must suck to have experienced so much privilege that equality feels like oppression."
That's my new mantra. I've said for year now that whenever society completely passes me by and I become the true mean old man that I've been slowly morphing into for these last 50 years, I will do my best to act and absolutely vote in whatever way my daughters tell me to. I can already feel that paradigm settling in around me, and I don't want to be the last one at the party yelling about how I know better when society has clearly moved well past me.
But that's about what I don't want to be. That's how a young person thinks. I'm 50 now. Old. I should know what I want to be, not just what I don't. There are ideals I've been trying to hone for decades now, and at the end of the day I don't want to lose those but also continue to refine and be better at them. Be a good partner, good father figure and an active, engaged citizen. Secure some financial independence and retire. Perhaps most importantly for my mental health and overall well-being, I want to continue to make stuff. Nothing gets me out of bed like going out and creating. As long as that continues to be the case, I suppose I'll stick around.
Posted 10:14am
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